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I wanted to love you so perfectly and wanted to be loved. I dreamed it could be perfect. I saw, I tasted, I felt, I heard and for one sweet moment I had --I found it in you, just knowing the unknowable.

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I couldn't explain it. I tried.

I still can't. Or I can't stand to try. I'd never felt like. I was crazy.

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But the best kind of crazy the kind that means. Was it my mind or my eyes which deceived me?

I prayed to God and I begged the devil to get you. I wanted to show you all the love in my heart.

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I wanted to scream it and show you something you'd never known. I wanted to behold it. So many dark days have passed.

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I think of you daily. I imagine you think of me. I spend my holidays.

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I cook. I walk to work.

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I walk home. Most people including yourself would tell me to forget about you.

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I've had well over fifty first dates since we split--since you split. Dating for men is a numbers game.

A gamble for the plastic coated joker. Anything to take my mind off it.

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The figures appear to swirl, yet remain perfectly. I'd sell my soul for a loving life with you.

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I guess it won't ever make sense. I guess it will always hurt and I'll always wish you'll say my name one night when I'm singles browse down the street with my head down looking for wishes.

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